Kyle Depiesse

What I essentially do through my experiences is invite people into adventure.  In one sentence that probably sums it up best.

(*shameless plug:  next up is dog sledding which you can check out here )

Ever since I can remember, I’ve loved going on adventures.  Big or small.  Mini adventures throughout the day and BIG adventures like globetrotting.

But what is it about adventure?  What does it mean to me?

I have a hard time putting it into succinct words.  What might work best is if you stay with me for a few paragraphs and explain the feeling I had on a recent adventure to see if we can find the words.  That’ll give you time to think about how you’d put words to it! Because spoiler alert, I want to hear from you!

A few weeks ago I was in Venice Beach for a conference.  The first day didn’t start until 1pm so I had time in the morning.  With a few friends that were with me, we decided to head down to the beach and see what the buzz was like there.

Actually, we took electric scooters down to the beach to be more exact.  That was a first for me!  The tears running down my face were from the brisk morning air as I was ripping through the streets.  But it could’ve been tears of joy because that was FUN!

When we got down to the beach we decided to rent surf boards from a local shop and try our luck with surfing.  Only 1 of the 4 of us has really surfed before, but what could possible go wrong?

After about a 37 second lesson from the experienced one of the group, we decided we were ready.  It didn’t take long to realize we could’ve used an actual lesson.  But regardless, we were out there and doing it!  Or at least trying to!

It didn’t matter if all I could do is stand up for 3 to 4 seconds on some of the baby waves close to shore.  I was doing it!  And I felt ALIVE!

During that 1 hour of “surfing”, I didn’t think about anything in the past or worry about anything that is upcoming.  I was present.  And what a gift that was!

I was laughing.  I was trying something for the first time.  I felt like a kid out there!

Wave after wave of me falling down was a lesson that life was serving up to me.  And I was open to it.  The lessons were so rich and it put me on this mental journey of self development and improvement as I contemplated all that I was learning and translating into my life.  More on that in another blog post, perhaps.

Adventure to me is getting outside my comfort zone.  It’s being in a space that forces me to be present.  It thrusts me on a journey of self development.  It makes me feel ALIVE.  It lights up my soul.  It’s a disruption to me sometimes monotonous life.  An invitation to shift my perspective and expand my thoughts.  Spontaneity.  It’s intentionally losing myself in an experience to find myself in a lesson.

The need for adventure could be covered up deep down inside you, dormant.  Just waiting to be activated.  Have you lost sight of it?  When’s the last time you’ve been on an adventure?

Or maybe it’s always been a burning desire, like me. Just waiting for more.

The benefit of it can be hard to articulate. But I know that it fills up my personal fulfillment cup and I show up different in the world. Better, as a result. As an entrepreneur. As a husband. A dad. A friend. You get the idea…

I think our souls call us into adventure. It’s time to answer that call.

Now it’s YOUR turn…what does adventure mean to you?

My background includes a lot of travel and hospitality experience. In addition, I LOVE to travel, take adventures and vacation! Earlier this week I shared on another platform a few reasons that many people feel like they need a vacation from the vacation they just came home from. I’ll share them here as well as some ideas on how to solve the problem presente

1. PROBLEM –> There’s no psychological distance from your work while you’re away. Sure, there’s physical distance from work while on vacation, but your mind is still at work. You get an email and you just HAVE to check it. Your phone rings and you HAVE to answer it. Your mind is still at work or in your work and you never can detach from it and get recharged like you should.
   SOLUTION –> “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure”. Find 30 minutes before your adventure and button things up, speak with important team members to make sure there is a plan in the event something comes up. (If you’re a leader, facilitate this for your team members).
   
2. PROBLEM –> You’re not allowing for insights and creativity while you’re away.
   SOLUTION –> try something new, something that gets your heart racing a little. This will force you to think a little differently and in so doing may give you new ideas. I’m a little on the adventurous side and like to do things that scare me a little. Scuba, windsurf, surf, helicopter rides, you get the picture. And then WHEN I overcome any level of fear in doing those things, I ask myself “where else is fear showing up in my life?”. This is wonderful resilience training for me and it leads me to new idea generation.
   
3. PROBLEM –> There’s too much on your agenda.
   SOLUTION –> leave some space for the MAGIC! I can’t tell you how many times I intentionally schedule nothing for a day while I’m gone and I allow time for “going with the flow”. I meet someone new and they know someone who knows someone and before I know it, I’m off on a fun new adventure I never knew possible. That would not have happened if I had every hour scheduled.
   
4. PROBLEM –> the timing of your getaway isn’t aligned with your work-life rhythm.
   SOLUTION –> identify where in your work schedule things get crazy, your busy season, and then schedule time away right after it. Like celebrating a milestone, you should have a few of these a year. Think of all the other categories of life that will suffer a bit during your “busy season” and this time should be used to bring those back to levels you’re comfortable with. Recast vision for the next period of work.
   
5. PROBLEM –> your vacation is used as an escape from your reality. SOLUTION –> change your reality. This one might sting a little. Sorry! But this is why we go to the all inclusive resort and sit at the swim up bar all day for 7 days in a row! We’re trying to mask the real problem and that is we aren’t fulfilled in what we’re doing. The best way to do this is get some coaching and design a life that brings you more fulfillment. Bring your lifestyle with you when you vacation, don’t run from it.

I’m guilty of violating all of these too. But with some better awareness I’m more equipped to design time away that allows for maximum recharging and I hope you can take some value from this too.

You’re partner in fulfillment,

Kyle Depiesse

As I’ve been having conversations about the topic of burnout, there’s a few common themes I thought I’d share.

10 years into a career there seems to be something that stirs up inside us. A shift. As we realize promotions, titles and accolades it might feel a little empty. We wonder…”is this it?”

The shift is from focusing on inner success to outward impact. Success, however we define it, if not coupled with making a meaningful impact on the greater good of others will leave us contemplating whether or not we keep doing what we’re doing or we do something different.

And then some choose to pivot. Start a business. Get involved with a non profit. Take a sabbatical. Look for another job or company.

There’s something to that 10 year mark (give or take a few). I can’t put my finger on it. But that’s when it hit me and a few dozen others I’ve connected with.

Have you gone through this? Or maybe wrestling with it now? Maybe it was 15, or 20 years into your career. Either way, lets connect I’d love to hear your story!

(You can check out what I’ve created to help anyone get clarity on what’s next by clicking on “The Reaching Beyond Experience))

My first day on the new job as a stay at home dad was June 5th, 2017.

I’ve had plenty of time to reflect on this topic of learning. Our son, Cal, has been pretty good at afternoon naps and that affords me a few hours to work, study and do other miscellaneous things around the house. So I thought today, on the eve of 18 months home with Cal, would be fun to share 3 things I’ve learned while being a stay at home dad! I hope it encourages you and you find some value in it.

On to my first learning…
My wife. No doubt that being a stay at home dad for this period of time was not a part of my long term career plan. It never even crossed my mind! And so for a while I was really sulking because I just wanted to be recognized for what I viewed as a sacrifice for pausing my career. Writing that down on my laptop makes me cringe for how selfish I was. So I can’t imagine how selfish it sounds as you’re reading this…ugh.

Anyway. All the while I’m trying to get credit for making a sacrifice, I’m failing to recognize that my wife is also making a sacrifice by continuing to work full time. And I wasn’t making sure she knew how much I appreciated that (of course I appreciated it, just never really communicated it).

It’s really hard to see others and what’s going on around you when all you are seeing is yourself. It’s hard to see in front of you and around you when your head is down, sulking. Tough lesson learned here.

My wife is a rock star mom! She has such a strong work ethic and is crushing her job and is also simultaneously committed to our family in a fierce way! I always respected her, always loved her. I’ve grown in that since I’ve stayed home as a result of HER sacrifice. And I think that’s a cool thing to look back and see that we’ve grown in love and respect from this circumstance.

The second learning…
A lot of the things about Cal’s personality that get under my skin are actually character traits about myself that I’m not fond of.  Things I need to work on myself.

Lack of patience and a little bit of a short fuse, for example.

It’s like looking in a mirror when I see him display those traits and it’s so convicting to me.  But here’s the cool thing…I get to work on them at the same time as he does.

Because the only way I can appropriately respond to his lack of patience is for me to show patience.  I’ve heard someone say “more is caught than taught” in reference to raising kids.  So what that means is I have to display the correct behavior and Cal will pick up on that.  He sees me display patience, he’ll be more patient.  He sees me show impatience, well you get the idea now.

By displaying patience, I get to work on my own character flaws at the same time as showing Cal how to do the same.

My MIL once said that it’s a character refinement opportunity to stay home with kids.  That’s SO true!

The third learning…
Spending all this time with Cal has shown me something about love. Yes it’s true when you become a parent you have a new found love for someone. And it’s a deep love! Something I’ve never experienced before. This is obvious. But this is NOT the love I’m talking about.

As much as I love my son I fall short; I get frustrated, I get annoyed, I get all sorts of other emotions that expose my true selfish and sinful nature. I love my son with all that I have. But it still isn’t perfect.

However, there is a love that is perfect, pure and unconditional. It is called agape love and it is the love that our heavenly father has for us, His children. I’m in AWE of this. A couple key verses that stand out to me:

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16.
But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. Romans 5:8.
See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are! 1 John 3:1.

Take those in. Doesn’t that blow your mind? I hope you feel those verses in your heart! It is SO powerful when you sit and revel in it.

The love I have for Cal as a dad, is not even close to God’s love for me. The love you have for your kids, is also not even close to God’s love for you.

It’s been a wild and unforgettable 18 months home with my son. And I’m so thankful for it!

“Great job, Kyle”
“Keep it up, Kyle”

I kept hearing people cheer me on as I started the run portion of my Ironman race. And everyone was calling me by my name…

All I could think to myself was “how do all these people know my name?”. In fact, I must’ve looked so confused that someone actually said to me “your name is on your bib”. HAHA! Picture the embarrassed look on my face!

The bike course was lined with people and in some areas it created a Tour de France kind of feel as you went through a tunnel of supporters while climbing hills! Each person seemingly in your face as they cheer you on!

“The power of life and death is in the tongue”. This comes from Proverbs 18:21. I interpret this as understanding that our words matter. We can lift people up or tear people down by what we say to them. Really important to note, this also includes the words that we say to OUR SELF in our head!

I had family and friends come out to support and encourage me on the day of my Ironman race. I had many others text or message me to encourage me. And every single one of those spoken or written words lifted me up and I really believe was a big help in getting me to that finish line.

But I’ve also been on the other side of this, the recipient of words said that have been hurtful and brought me down out of malicious intent. And I’m going to guess that you have been there too. Hurts, doesn’t it?

As the author of the Proverb says, the impact is “Life and Death” on the person you are speaking to. Whoa. That’s pretty impactful! Consider for a moment that you can speak LIFE into someone. I think that’s incredible when you stop and think about it!

They say that 35,000 – 40,000 people show up to spectate and watch the Ironman in Madison. I felt the power of this Proverb that day and it gives me the chills just thinking about it! But don’t lose the message in that broad context, you don’t have to be watching a race to encourage someone and speak life into them…

I remember a time last summer, one of my first few weeks as a stay at home dad, Cal and I were at a local mall and as I was pushing a stroller with a fussy 4 month old, an elderly woman walked over to me. As she smiled at me she said “you’re doing a great job, dad”! I’ll never forget how that made me feel! What a lift in my spirit!

Or the time my mother-in-law texted me and told me how much she appreciated the sacrifice I was making to my career by staying home to be with Cal for this period of life we’re in. Wow! That was SO encouraging and I didn’t know how much I needed to hear that until I heard that!

It’s really quite simple. We should choose our words wisely knowing the magnitude of the impact; life or death. Choose to be kind, lift up, encourage, love!

We have the ability to speak life into someone else’s day. Let’s go do it!

I’m very passionate about personal finance.  And I post on social media about it quite often.  I don’t want any reader to get the wrong impression of me, so I thought I’d write about some of the top mistakes I’ve made with money.  Because, well, I’ve screwed up a lot in this department when I was younger!

In addition to sharing these mistakes, I’ll outline the lessons I learned from each.

I do consider myself fortunate enough that none of these mistakes have completely crippled me or put me or my family in harm’s way.  Just plain old foolish and ignorant financial decisions.

So here are my top 3:

#3  –  The first thing I did when I graduated from college was buy a “new” car.  New to me, but it was a used car.  And I bought way more car then I should have!  I figured that since I’m in a full time job now, I deserve to have a better car.  So I went from a beater to a $15,000 car (back in 2002).  Seemed about right.  Except that my salary was only $29,000 per year and I had some student loans to pay back.
I ended up putting some money down on it, but I used a credit card for that.  Hello cashback points…cha ching!  About 3 months later this car that I fell in love with was totaled in a car accident.

Lessons learned:
a:  I don’t buy new cars anymore.  And I don’t finance cars anymore.  Heck, I don’t even have a credit card anymore!  The last car my wife and I bought was with cash.  Now that we are out in front of car payments, we just keep saving a little money each month to build up a fund that is used to buy replacement cars with cash.
b:  When I consider the question “can I afford it”, my mindset has shifted from “can I fit the monthly payment into the budget” to “can I pay cash for it”.  This mindset and shift in approach means everything!  The latter approach means you are thinking about what you’ll need to purchase in the future and save for it in the present.  It also forces you to consider if you REALLY need that certain thing you’re considering buying.  And it will bring a peace and sense of control over finances.

#2  –  I bought 2 Harley Davidson bikes in a matter of 4 months.  The first one was my “beginner” bike and I quickly realized that that bike was too small and wimpy, so I upgraded to a bigger bike.  I bought the first Harley without anything down and financed it at around 7.5%.  Ouch.  Then I traded that Harley back into the dealer for a new Harley 4 months later.  Well, everyone knows that trading in a vehicle to a dealer will get you a lower amount than if you just sell it via private sale.  I knew it too.  It was just much easier to trade it in.  Double ouch.  My only concern on this transaction was whether or not I could fit that monthly payment into my budget.  I didn’t care about anything else.  And the dealer knew it.  And so I bought the bigger Harley and put it on a 6 year note.  Ouch, ouch, and ouch!

Lessons learned:
a.  If/when I’m going to sell a vehicle, I’m going to do it private sale.  Sure, there will be some hassle factor, but the spread between wholesale trade in and private sale is worth the extra hassle.  At least to me it is.
b.  At this point, I’m still analyzing purchases by trying to fit the monthly payment into my budget.  This lesson has been a painful one that took a long time to learn.

#1  –  I was going through a job change towards the end of the 2008/2009 Recession.  When I left my older employer, I ended up cashing in my 401k, because I thought the world was going to end, and I used it ALL to buy gold.  So I paid the early withdrawal penalty of 10% AND paid my income taxes on that 401k (around 25%).  If that’s not bad enough, I bought gold at an all-time high when it was around $2,000 per ounce.  Do you know what gold is currently selling at today?  I’ll save you the time of looking.  It is selling for around $1,200 per ounce!  I ended up selling it 2 years ago and got about $1,300 per ounce for it.  There is so much foolishness in this whole situation that I can’t stop laughing at myself right now!  Other than buying a new car, the process I just outlined for you is the best way to take $50,000 and turn it into $20,000 in a few years!

Lessons learned:
a.  Part of the reason I ended up cashing out and taking the penalties on my 401k was because I bought into all the gold hype.  I thought that the market would continue to go down and not recover.  This might sound silly to you as you’re reading this as the market is pretty strong, but just wait, the next market pull back you might start to think irrationally too.  Everyone knows to “buy the dip”, but when you’re in the dip it’s really hard to use sound logic and reason!  Since this mistake, I’ve leaned on a financial adviser.  Someone to keep me from doing financial harm to myself!  When the markets are good, everyone thinks they don’t need an adviser because they can do it themselves.  But when the market turns, you’ll wish you had one!
b.  I don’t buy gold anymore.
c.  Always roll an old 401k (or 403b) out of your old employer’s plan and into an IRA.

There you have it!  Most of what I know is purely just a part of learning the hard way.  And these are just a tip of the iceberg…I have made a lot more decisions I wish I could have back!

Chances are, you ALREADY have been given a million dollars and you just aren’t aware of it.  Or you WILL be given a million dollars at some point.  Here’s the kicker though, you most likely won’t be given it all at once.

Here’s a fun story.

Between Christmas and New Year’s Eve I find some quiet space to sit down and contemplate goals for the upcoming year.  I started this tradition in 2015.  I set goals in a few categories:  physical, relationships, finances, professional and spiritual.

When I was looking at goals for the financial category, I got to thinking…”I wonder how much money has come and gone through my hands in my working career?”.  Well, it turns out you can find that out pretty quickly.

All you have to do is log on to the Social Security website, create an account with your social security # and voila.  You can see your lifetime earnings as reported on your tax returns.  That’s exactly what I did.

I wasn’t prepared for what I would find out.

At the time of doing this in 2015, I had earned $1,002,329 in my working career!  GASP.  I don’t know where you come from, but to me that’s a lot of money!

Like I said earlier, most people will be given a million dollars or they already have!  Think about it.  One million dollars is…
Earning $100,000 per year for 10 years.
Or earning $75,000 per year for a little over 13 years.
Or $50,000 per year for 20 years.
Or earning $25,000 per year for 40 years.

So after I looked up my earnings, I thought it would be a good idea to look up my wife’s earnings too!  What a bad idea.  She had pretty much earned the same as what I did up until that point.  BUT WHERE DID IT ALL GO!??

We were B R O K E.  Our net worth was a big negative number (BUT we had great credit scores … 🙂  ).  I felt like a failure.  I got angry, sad, frustrated, confused, you name it.  As Christians our responsibility is to be a Steward for God’s money… we had been failing at that big time!  Everything we thought we knew about how to manage money had gotten us in the place that we were and we didn’t like that place!  So we knew we needed to do something different.  We were tired of making good money but feeling broke and this was what put us over the edge…”I’VE HAD IT!”.

I remembered I had “The Total Money Makeover” book by Dave Ramsey at home.  Truth be told, I started reading it several months earlier and never finished.  We needed a plan and that was it.  We took Financial Peace University at a church near us (our church wasn’t currently offering it).  And we haven’t looked back since!

Looking up our lifetime earnings on the Social Security website was the moment when I said “I’ve had it”!  And things have changed DRAMATICALLY since then.  We don’t have any consumer debt and we’re about 4-5 months away from paying off our mortgage.  Completely.  24 years early!

Have you had that “I’ve had it moment”?

I’ve heard people say that change doesn’t occur until you’ve had an “I’VE HAD IT” moment. When you’re “sick and tired of being sick and tired”.  That seems to be the catalyst for change!

Maybe you’ll read this before you’ll be given a million dollars and it will motivate you to be proactive in how you handle money.  Money has a funny way of leaving your hands if you don’t have a plan for it!  Or maybe you’re like us and you’ve already been given a million dollars and you’re disgusted with what you’ve done with it…trust me, it’s not too late to turn it around!