Posted March 24, 2021 in Podcast
Value Authenticity Over Comfort
Are you having problems with conflicts in a relationship?
Conflicts are common in every relationship, be it an intimate relationship with someone, business relations, or relationship with the community. But how do you manage a conflict so that the relationship isn’t broken?
In this episode, my special guest Michael Manthei will talk about the value of authenticity in a relationship and how to manage conflict to preserve the relationship and nurture it to a deeper level of communication and intimacy. He will also talk about making an impact on the community and managing work-life balance.
There are plenty of life lessons in this conversation, so let’s get on with it!
Who Is Michael Manthei?
Michael Manthei is a successful real estate investor from Lancaster, Pennsylvania. At the age of 21, he founded his first company, which was very successful. But he eventually sold it to focus on doing something he loved — humanitarian work that had him traveling to more than 20 countries. A few years after his stint in full-time ministry, he retired early in his 30s, enjoying financial freedom at an early age.
However, living a life full of leisure was something unfulfilling for him. So he turned his focus on making an impact on others by creating an investment education community — helping others find the best investment opportunities together. Today, Michael Manthei is the host of ELEVATE Investing Group, teaching students about financial freedom and offering mentorship services to those who want to become successful in real estate.
Managing Conflicts in Relationships
People have different ways of managing conflicts. Some react negatively, causing the relationship to break apart. But others have a positive approach that further strengthens the relationship to a more intimate level. So, I asked Michael Manthei how he usually manages conflicts in a relationship.
“I just value authenticity more than comfort and I’m not afraid of what could happen. … 90% of the times that I’ve … gone into a hard conversation, … has been deeper relationships, more openness, honesty, communication, [and] all the beautiful things. … I’d rather flush that out … instead of continuing to build a relationship based on falsehood. So I think my value for authenticity above a comfort, it just makes sense to me to go into it where I think a lot of other people are a little bit more for protecting either themselves or it gets down to themselves, even though … they just want to protect the relationship. But it just means you’re settling for a superficial relationship.” – Michael Manthei
Being authentic is important for a relationship to grow. It also allows you to communicate to a deeper level with the other person. But sometimes, people fake their reactions and emotions to protect the relationship or avoid hurting other people. While they have good intentions in their efforts to preserve the relationship, the absence of authenticity is unhealthy, possibly sending the wrong signals that will eventually lead to conflict.
Being authentic is critical when managing conflicts. You should be genuine in your communications with the other parties in order to come up with a resolution to the dispute. If you are not authentic in your communication, the conflict will never be resolved. If ever it is resolved, it’s only temporary and not permanent, unless you value authenticity over comfort.
“The goal is intimacy. The goal is … [a] healthy relationship.” – Michael Manthei
Every relationship should be a healthy one, and intimacy and harmony are among the main goals. But for harmony and intimacy to happen, there should be authenticity first between involved parties.
What Success Means
We all have different perspectives of success. For some people, success is measured by the amount of wealth they earned and accumulate, or in terms of luxury and lifestyle. Others define success by the joy of having a healthy relationship with the people they love. But, let’s hear out what success means for Michael Manthei.
“To have an impact in people’s lives. And so success to me is fully expressing that I’m not holding back in any area of my life. I’m releasing everything that I have for the benefit of my family and [for] the benefit of others around me.” – Michael Manthei
Having an impact on others is already a success for Michael Manthei. His close relationship with God showed him the path to success by having an impact on the people around him. He spent years and traveled to different places doing humanitarian work and creating an impact on as many people as he can.
Even outside of his ministry, he keeps on creating an impact in the real estate world. When he deals with clients and potential buyers, Michael Manthei looks at his prospects as opportunities to help and create an impact, instead of looking at them as opportunities to make money. As a result, he easily closed deals and made more money in the end. Money was not seen as an ultimate goal but a by-product of his quest on making an impact.
“I love real estate investing. But it would be a lot more fulfilling to do it with other people. So, … we put real estate investments together so people can invest with us. … We don’t even need nobody else’s money, but we put them together because it’s about community now. And we have an investment education community, … inspiring others and doing things together as much fun as making money is. And it is fun. [But] inspiring others and doing it together is even more fun.” – Michael Manthei
Michael finds happiness in helping the community and inspiring others. For him, that is already a success. We, too, can make an impact on others through our works. Sometimes, it’s just a matter of a mindset shift from making money to creating an impact on others around our business while earning money along the way, just like Michael Manthei did.
“It’s about the impact and … you need to use other people and work together as a team to have a greater impact. The orphanage is a great example. … By all coming together, we’re all able to do more than we could on our own. … It may not be comfortable, but you need to learn it if you want to have an impact.” – Michael Manthei
You can create an impact on others on your own. But if you work together with other people sharing the same vision, all of you can make a greater impact on the community.
Managing Work-Life Balance
Michael Manthei is busy being an investor, a husband, and a father. And still, he is able to find time to create an impact on the community. I asked him how he manages work-life balance.
“There are moments where you can leverage a moment and have so much growth, so much of a greater impact because you were attuned enough to take advantage of a moment. So that happens in business. … That’s leveraging. That gives me more space for the rest of my life. And it’s the same with the family. … It comes down to priorities, for me, and what I value.” – Michael Manthei
To manage work-life balance, stop trying to be all things to all people. Instead, prioritize your time, play to your strength, and know your peaks and throughs. Likewise, leverage a moment and prioritize what you value most in life. Despite the busy schedule of Michael Manthei, he always finds time to spend a few moments on a date with each of his kids. This allowed him to nurture his relationship with each family member, while still being able to connect with the people in his community.
Reach Beyond with Michael Manthei Right Now…
Guys, this interview with Michael Manthei is packed with priceless lessons, especially for those who want to enhance their relationships and make an impact on others.
Before I end this session, let me share with you something valuable to me when I asked him what topic would it be if Michael had to give a TED talk on something he wasn’t familiar with:
“Conflict resolution! I actually like conflict because to me it’s not combative. … It’s an opportunity to go deeper with people and deeper in relationships than otherwise could. So, I never shy away from hard conversations. … I’d rather just put it out in the open. But when you do, a lot of people have experienced conflict in a combative situation where they don’t say anything until they’re angry. … I’ve seen relationships just go so much deeper because a lot of times, even if somebody hasn’t done something that they should have and you bring it up, but not in a way to tell them that they’re wrong, but in a way to build a better relationship. It really touches people and they respond to that.” – Michael Manthei
Conflicts don’t have to end up damaging the relationship. If you properly handle the conflict by valuing authenticity while identifying the root cause and managing it with a positive approach, you could strengthen the relationship instead of weakening it.
If you found some lessons from this episode very valuable, it would mean a lot to me if you could take a few moments to write a five-star review and share the full podcast episode with your friends. I would be so grateful! I would also love if you could tag me, @kyle_depiesse, and Michael G. Mantie, @michaelgmanthei, on Instagram with your greatest takeaways from the episode!
Cheers to your success! I’m rooting for you.